Bad Asteroid Night
by Steve Martinez
The author works as a clerk at a public library. Hes single, fifty years old, and lives with his brother in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Mr. Martinez has an undergraduate degree in philosophy from George Mason University in Virginia, and an undergraduate degree in math from the University of New Mexico. He tells us, Im happy to be living in such interesting times in the worlds of science fiction and scientific discovery. This is his second published story. The first, One Hand Clapping, appeared in our May 1995 issue. 
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Sometimes, Trina envied the robots. There was never anything theyd rather be doing. Give them a new assignment and it became their whole reason for being. For four years, they had been trusted to work asteroid T-Berg 020, mining and replicating with no human presence. But somewhere in that span of time, someone had given them a new purpose, and managed to make off with nearly three billion dollars worth of processed ore and equipment, including a breeding stock of the very latest in self-replicating robots. And not one robot had sounded an alarm. In fact, the remaining robots continued to file a whole history of false reports to cover the theft. By the time a resupply ship with its crew of six arrived, the robots had conveniently forgotten everything that could incriminate them and were hard at work as if nothing had happened, a good two years behind schedule. 
      At least the hole was still there, properly dug and sealed off. Some of the precious volatiles were back in production. But there was no clue to what had happened. At least nothing Trina could see. Whoever had pulled this off had been thorough. She had almost given up looking for traces of memory, and had been trying to hack the security system to see how it might have been done. She was the official robot jockey of the crew, so everybody was counting on her, especially the captain, so she pushed herself to exhaustion. 
      It was getting so bad that now Trinas dreams were blending into reality. She had fallen asleep at her desk with her cheek on one of her flat panel displays. In her dream, she pushed the color-coded program modules all over the screen like layer upon layer of jigsaw tiles, pushing them right off the screen onto the table as she went after something hiding beneath them, if only it would hold still, she was so tired, but she had to go on even when she began turning up pieces of teeth with long crusty roots and tiles covered with mucous, and bones that she cracked open, using one jagged piece to dig little white worms out of the marrow of the other. 
      She was awakened by the beeping of the com link, and scowled, confused to find her messy desk so similar to her dream. Yes, she replied, looking sleepily over the array of data screens for the one that had beeped. It was the task scheduler, one of the robot overseers, asking for some kind of confirmation. It took a minute for Trina to look over the data and get a sense of what project she was being asked about. Apparently one of the robots, Willie 1-9, had gotten himself stuck down a fissure, and the vapors hed kicked up before he broke his torch had frozen him solidly in place. Current status? 
      Attempting to extricate Willie 1-9, replied a synthetic voice. 
      She grimaced and shook her head at the diversion of resources the scheduler was proposing. This was ridiculous. It would be cheaper to make a new Willie. Interrupt task. Download Willie 1-9, memfile, all. 
      Task interrupt. Download in progress. A string of corrupt file messages filled her screen, then, Download complete. 
      End task. Abandon Willie 1-9. Reassign task, task manager, um, Oversee 2-0. 
      Confirm end task. Query. Task extricate Willie 1-9 does not exceed current budget parameters. Do you wish to reset current budget parameters for task extricate Willie class worker? Estimate hours. Estimate resources. Estimate task priority. Please choose reset parameter. 
      Funny, the budget parameters were set way high. So then, why was it even asking for confirmation? Oh well, check into it later. No. Retain current parameters. End task. Abandon Willie 1-9 through exception handler. 
      ID confirmed. Authority confirmed. Resource protocol exception. Abandon Willie 1-9. Reassign task. Task manager Oversee 2-0. 
      Now she was wide awake. It could be nothing. Perhaps some strangeness of the dream had carried overperhaps that and nothing more. Still, she was about to do a little digging when the light from the doorway was blocked by Captain Anders, suited up for an excursion except for his helmet and gloves. He held another spacesuit beside him, dangling like some poor crewmans fresh-peeled hide. 
      Here we go off to the salt mines, he said, as if talking to the empty spacesuit, while little miss princess gets to stay behind so she doesnt get her face dirty. What do we think of that? Then he changed his voice and spoke out the side of his mouth while dangling his puppet beside him. We think it sucks. 
      Hey, this was your idea, said Trina, turning to face him. She expected him to sit across from her in her mini couch, but instead he came beside her and sat against the desk, his ankles crossed. 
      Up close, Trina recognized the spacesuit he was holding as her own and said, Oh, did you change your mind? 
      No, I just didnt want to leave this by the airlock. We dont want you-know-who to see youre still here. 
      Trina didnt say anything. She just pulled her lips in and made a slight chewing motion, as she did sometimes when lost in thought, unaware of how monkeylike she looked. She came out of it blinking and puzzled by the amusement on the captains face. 
      Oh, and your transponder, he said, carefully removing it from the chest of her suit. Well take this with us so your blip will show up with ours in case he checks the roster. 
      Seems like a lot of trouble. 
      Its not so much trouble. He let the spacesuit hang folded over his hands like a dead animal, casual, or suggestive, Trina wasnt sure. Well only be gone a few hours. Id take him along just to get him out of your hair, but then hed be in my hair. 
      I still dont see whats the big deal. We work together just fine. 
      Yes, I know you do. Under normal circumstances, I wouldnt have any problem. But this isnt normal. 
      What you mean is, hes not normal. 
      Oh, thats what it is. You think this is personal? Trina, I dont know if Im going to be able to trust you if you think Im just going on some personal grudge against him. 
      I didnt say that. 
      Look, if he was a regular crewman, I wouldnt care how many arms he had, as long as he can do the work. But hes not a regular crewman. Hes a protocol officer. What the hell is that? Have you seen his job description? Some kind of glorified safety inspector, is all I can make of it. With special authorities he can invoke. Hell, I dont even know if I outrank him. Let me ask you thishow come we never knew we needed one before? We sure as hell didnt need a protocol officer when we set up this place, so why now? 
      Its not his fault. 
      I know. When you come right down to it, nothing is his fault. He didnt ask to be born, or made, or uncorkedwhatever you call it. He didnt buy out our contracts. I hate to mess up your dreams, Trina, but I hope you werent planning on working up to your own time-share condo on this berg or any other. Youre working for Gnomonics, now. 
      Doesnt matter. Theyve still got to honor our contracts. 
      Your contract was with Novinco, back when people thought human beings would be settling out here. Thats history. Novinco is just a subsidiary now. Its cheaper to breed ganglies to live in space. Theyre designed for it. 
      But weve still got a contract. 
      And what Im saying is, we used to have a contract. Now weve got a contract plus a pair of beady little eyes to go along with it, watching over us. For our own safety. Right. 
      Okay, so we just dont give them any grounds.... 
      Thats going to be a little tricky right now, dont you think? I mean, we are missing a few billion dollars worth of company property. Do you realize how theyd love to pin it on us? 
      But were innocent! 
      Captain Anders opened his mouth and slapped his head, then held up the spacesuit in front of him and spoke to it. So what are you worried about, old timer? When he released the suit, its beginning-to-fall was so slow it almost seemed to stand. Then he pushed it and it caved in like an octopus, descending into a gentle collapse on the couch. Trina copied the motion and sank back into her chair, feeling stupid. 
      Its a perfect set-up, Anders continued. The timing couldnt be better. That lawsuit with the Consortium has a lot of weight behind it. They could pull the plug on Gnomonics. In effect, Earths ban on monkeying with human genes would be extended to the whole solar system. And all they have to prove is whats true, that the ganglies have been unlawfully deranged. 
      I wouldnt call Rakshasa deranged. 
      Whatever you call it. Hes a piece of the company mind. There are certain thoughts he cant think because he has an unnatural loyalty to the company that made him. 
      You can be a company man without being a gangly. 
      Yeah, but at least a company man is still a man. Or a woman. Were all company men on this boat, but at least what we do is out of greed or lust or pity, whatever. Im telling you, these guys have it inbred into them not to be able to think outside the company box. Thats why hes here, because they want something here thats not one of us, someone who will file reports on us without the inconvenience of friendship or affection getting in the way. He frowned. 
      They dont even have to find us guilty of anything, just drag us into a courtroom and raise a cloud of suspicion. Because were human, so, to their minds, that means we could be bribed, we could have been greedy, whatever. So some shareholders get to thinking maybe a special breed of demented workers doesnt look so bad after all. And Rakshasa is going to see everything the way the company wants him to see it. Hell stack all the facts against us in the worst light. The only way to really get off the hook is to come up with the big clue ourselves. Now do you see why I dont want him working on this with you? 
      She nodded, and the captain continued. Besides, Id feel kind of guilty about leaving you alone with him if he knew you were here, you know what I mean? She gave him a blank look. Its just that, um, I dont think an artificial species can leave everything behind all at once, in one step. Because if I was him, I dont think a ganglyoid female would look all that 
      Okay, I get it. 
      Are you sure? I know you feel sorry for him. 
      No. I see what you mean. 
      You know why else I want you on this case? Because youre better than he is. 
      Dont be so sure. He wasnt always a protocol officer, you know. He used to 
      Academic stuff. Youre the one with practical experience. Dont be so humble and innocent you cant grab the opportunity Im giving you. If you come up with something good, you might be able to write your own ticket. I want you to get the credit. This is your puppy. Dont let any ganglyoid try to take it away from you. Look at me. You know Im straight with my crew. You make up your own mind if Im a good judge of who can do what. Just dont sell yourself short, okay? You can do this! 
      She winced slightly, as if hed just tousled her hair, and shrugged him off, but after he was gone and the door was closed, she couldnt help thinking that maybe he saw something in her she didnt see in herself. After all, he did have a way of being painfully honest in his dealings with the crew. It would mean so much to him if she could pull this off ! 
      Not only that, but if he was so afraid of Rakshasa, maybe there was something to it. She knew she could be nave at times. On the other hand, just because the captain was sincere didnt mean he had it right. Did he really think she was better at robotics than Rakshasa? 
      It took a while for such thoughts to simmer down. Now that the crew was gone, she opened her door to ward off claustrophobia, and settled down to work. 
      In the course of picking up lost threads, she came across the Willie 1-9 query once again, and remembered that something had puzzled her about it. Odd that such a unit would have generated such a high rescue priority. She began to dig. The last download of its memory wasnt the only one. There had been others, all garbled. And the rescue attempts went way back. 
      She began to get excited. Willie 1-9 had been stuck for nearly a year! His memory, if she could reconstruct it, might contain something that pre-dated the blackout period. 
      She fixed herself a sandwich and a cup of coffee and settled down to work. At last she had something that she could sink her teeth into. After two hours, and still not sure if she was on to something, an ungainly shadow fell across the doorway. The change didnt register in her mind directly, but when the delicately gathered butterflies of her thoughts suddenly blew away, she turned and saw Dr. Rakshasa standing there, looking a bit worried. 
      Despite his extra pair of arms, it was sometimes his face that caught her off guard. He wasnt disfigured, but his expressions seemed exaggerated sometimes, like a mask. She supposed it was because his head, like his long, withered limbs, seemed out of proportion to his almost child-sized body. It was hard to tell his age. There was no gray in his hair, cut short, almost like fur, but he was old enough to have crinkles around his eyes and weary lines around his mouth. 
      At the sight of her, he reflexively stuffed his arms into some of the many pockets of his jumpsuit and said, Excuse me. I hope I didnt startle you. 
      What are you doing here? she demanded, trying to sound indignant, then remembered that she was the one who wasnt supposed to be here. 
      Just out for a walk, trying to think a few things through, when I heard a noise. I thought you had gone with the others. 
      No, I got out of it. Too much work to do. 
      And its the wrong kind of work, dont you agree? This project has been your dream, but now instead of moving on to the next phase, youre stuck with digging out of the wreckage. Looks as if you may have signed up on the wrong ship this time. 
      Looks that way. 
      Theres something Ive been meaning to tell you, but I dont quite know how, and I was wishing I could just get you alone for a moment, and then, all of a sudden, here you are. Are you sure youre not a figment of my imagination? 
      What did you want to talk to me about? 
      Its not even that I want to talk to you. I feel I must, yet I wish I could spare you the burden. The worried look came over his face again, and he still made no move to enter or leave. 
      Its no burden. Come in, sit down. She tossed the spacesuit behind the couch. Would you like something to drink? Coffee? Juice? Tea? 
      Tea, please. 
      He sat somewhat stiffly at the edge of the couch, two hands resting on his knees, the other two holding the cup she handed to him. Trina turned her chair around and sat across from him. 
      Its hard to say this, he began, without sounding like the pompous ganglyoid the talk shows so often make us out to be. We cant help it, you know. Its hard not to be affected psychologically when you grow up with an extra set of arms. Im sure you understand, hmm? 
      I dont know about that. I mean, I can imagine having four arms, and how very handy that must be, but I dont think I can imagine being used to it. 
      Yes, youd almost have to be a child again, out of the womb just long enough to take for granted a certain form and attitude. Well, try to imagine a young gangly in a classroom full of other gangly children. We are told every day that we are fully human, and yet when we study human history, I think we sometimes have a special difficulty identifying with it. 
      He sipped his cup of tea through its built-in straw, then continued. We dont exactly thrive in Earths gravity. So all we know of Earth is from a great height, and when you are young and your experience of life is benign, its hard not to wonder whether, born into the ancient circumstances, we would commit the same horrors. Have our minds really crossed a threshold, or do we delude ourselves to think so? And without knowing for sure, we may sometimes assume an attitude that blinds our coworkers to any redeeming qualities we might have. 
      Snooty. 
      Even worse. I think our captain, for example, finds me threatening to an extent that interferes with his good judgment. I get the feeling he isnt telling me the real reason he doesnt want us to investigate this mystery together. 
      As he started to explain the advantages of working together, Trina glanced back at her screens and realized they were covered with data on the Willie 1-9 anomalies. And now Rakshasa was looking at them, too! She shut them down and whirled angrily to face him. 
      Wait just a damn minute! You didnt come here looking for me. You came here to snoop through my data and see what Ive found out! You had every reason to believe Id be out there with the others! 
      Rakshasa drew back from her outburst. His exaggerated features became a mask of surprise. Yes, thats what I was led to believe, isnt it? Yet here you are. It puts me in an awkward position when someone in authority, like the captain, leads me to believe something and yet somehow, something in his manner raises a doubt in my mind. And then I have to wonder, am I being paranoid? He paused. 
      Besides, I really did hope I might discuss a certain matter with you, but perhaps I am doing more harm than good. He put his tea down and stood to go. 
      Oh, Raki. 
      I dont hold it against you, really. Im sure it wasnt your idea. 
      You guys are making me crazy. I wish the two of you would get together and have it out and just leave me out of it. I came here to do a job, and thats all I want to do. You make everybody crazy, you know that? Its like a pressure cooker in here. Ive never seen a crew so crazy devious in all my life, and its got something to do with you being here. Everybodys got more going on in their minds than theyre telling me, and they all want me on their side, but I dont want to be on anybodys side. I just want to be left alone for a while and get some work done. She shook her head in frustration. 
      God, look at the time. Theyll be back pretty soon and Ive got nothing to show for it. I was just getting started, and its over. Larry will be wanting attention, Kira will want to confide in me, and the captain will want to see my progress, and I cant stand working with somebody looking over my shoulder, especially somebody who wants results and all Ive got is a hunch. I just wish I could have one good day all to myself. She sighed. 
      And yes, youre damn right it wasnt my idea! 
      Rakshasa looked at her thoughtfully for a moment, then began to fumble through his pockets. Perhaps I can at least grant you that one modest wish. Trina couldnt help becoming fascinated by the multiple sleight-of-hand show he put on as he fished out the flotsam of his pockets and passed it around from hand to hand, all kinds of little things disappearing and reappearing unexpectedly. When she realized what he was doing, she looked at his face and saw him watching her. It was a trick he pulled sometimes when he noticed her becoming hypnotized by his arms, just something he did to make her smile, though now it just made her wistful. 
      He found what he was looking for, a small datapad that he held in his lower arms, punching in some code, while he stuck the fingers of his upper hands into his ears. Trina thought he was clowning again, till she was jolted by the shriek of an alarm. The noise was everywhere, in her room, in the corridor, ringing hollow through the entire ship. Then silence, and a synthetic voice, unnaturally calm, said, Warning, a magnitude seven solar flare event is now in progress. All personnel report to hardened shelters immediately. 
      The message repeated between bouts of wailing. Before Trina could say anything, Rakshasa motioned her to be quiet and spoke excitedly into his pad. Captain, weve got a flare alert! Captain, come in, do you read me? Hello? Mayday! Mayday! 
      Then the captains voice, preoccupied, Just a sec. 
      Captain, get all your people back here immediately. You need to get to the shelters. 
      Keep your pants on, spider-man. This cave is a class one shelter. Heres what were going to dookay, listen up, everybody. We may as well ride it out right here and get some work done, better than sitting on our butts in that tin can. Okay, check supplies. 
      The captain began conferring and assigning duties, then came back to Rakshasa, Oh, by the way, Trina hasnt caught up with us yet. Make sure she gets to the shelter, will you? 
      Aye, captain, said Rakshasa, and signed off, looking very pleased with himself as he shut off the alarm. 
      Trinas heart was still pounding. You just set off a false alarm? 
      Of course. That ought to get you at least a day of freedom. 
      Its a little hard on the others, dont you think? I dont know if they can even pressurize that cave in a day. Jesus, when I said I wanted a little private time ... maybe youd better call it off. 
      If they get in trouble, well bring them in. I am authorized to conduct unscheduled drills, you know. 
      Maybe, but the captain is still going to kill you. 
      No, Ill be too useful as a hate object. It will unify the crew, and show everyone he was right about me all along. Dont worry about him. He loves a good emergency, now and then. And you have your private time. 
      And you have your revenge. On everybody. She shook her head. Sheesh, I cant believe it. You must be a little bit crazy. 
      Youre quite welcome. Its the least I could do after barging in the way I did. Ill go now, and let you enjoy your solitude. 
      You dont have to go. I always spout off. It doesnt mean anything. Sit down. You had something on your mind. What was it? 
      It can wait. He went to the door and then turned. I was just wondering, as you examine the robots for signs of what took place, have you noticed a certain agitation among them? 
      Agitation? 
      Its hard to describe. Normally the human presence among them is part of the background of their awareness, like the weather. But since we arrived, they seem almost skittish. Ive been trying to get them adjusted to their new circumstances, and they overshoot the mark trying to anticipate my intentions. Instead of pushing them along Ive got to hold them back. Maybe their thought processes have simply evolved in the time they were left alone, or perhaps the pirates somehow disturbed their collective psyche. 
      Really? 
      Oh, yes. They do have a psyche, you know. Let me know if I can be of assistance. 
      Trina was in shock for a little while. Then it began to sink in that she had some time to work with, and no reason to feel guilty about it. It wasnt her fault. And once shed gotten used to that fact, she found that she was indeed onto something with those pieces of Willie 1-9s mind. It was like finding fragments of something that had once been alive, except that these fragments did not belong to the world of material things. They were little nothings in themselves, pieces of wanting-to-assemble, but what they wanted to assemble depended on what pattern, in turn, assembled them. 
      One of her first tasks was to put the code fragments into an intelligible form by setting up some virtual robots based on Willie 1-9s general pattern, and watching how the fragments affected him in simulations. At a low level, there wasnt much to set him aparthe had all the basic moves. At a higher level, there were skills, some mundane, like walking, others more specialized, and among them some potential oddballs. 
      At a higher level still were some vague intimations of how Willie fit into the grand plan. That was where the discrepancies between Willie 1-9 and the others were most apparent, though at first it wasnt clear what it meant. Gradually, by trying out one context after another, varying the raw materials, cloning multiple virtual Willies to be his coworkers, a pattern began to emerge. It was not at all what she had expected. There was nothing so clear-cut as a memory of having been visited. 
      But there was evidence of design elements in the skill bank that had no place in their normal repertoire. The robots had apparently been busy for a long time on a task she was beginning to vaguely sketch out. There were indications that the Willies had been making large superconducting electromagnets of a type used in mass drivers. With a little more digging, she might even come up with the operational parameters. Ingenious! The pirates had no need to risk a landingthey had just instructed the robots to construct a mass driver and shoot material off to some rendezvous point. Except for one robot who fell down a crack, there would have been no trace left behind. 
      She was up on her feet from the excitement, and dying to tell someone. She wondered how they might reconstruct the exact timing and trajectory of the material. Maybe from the record of adjustments to the uplink antenna they could see how the asteroids orbit had changed. Pacing the room soon became striding down the hallway full of a sudden sympathy for her stranded comrades. This charade had gone on long enough, time to call it off. 
      The echoes of her footsteps seemed to have echoes of their own. She stopped, and the footsteps continued. She called out, but there was no answer. Then she heard the airlock cyclethe noise was coming from the floor below. She slid down the nearest ladder. But there was no one there. A few empty vacuum suits hung limp and faceless. The external view showed nothing, just the black-against-black of night on an asteroid. But if Rakshasa had gone out, why hadnt he turned on the floods? 
      She took out her datapad and called up the locator. Rakshasa was out there all right, and being sneaky about it. She felt like an idiot for thinking hed set off that alarm for her sake. He was up to something. 
      Or he could be perfectly innocent. Just out for a walk. It was his element, after all. She hurried back to her room and suited up, her mind full of imaginary arguments, with Anders, with Rakshasa, with herself, trying so hard to figure out what version of whose story made the most sense that she almost didnt notice where she was until she was in the airlock, trying to focus on going through the drill. 
      She didnt use the floods either. And she was glad, now, that the captain had removed her transponder. It had all seemed like some stupid game at the time. 
      She stood at the edge of the open hatch and hesitated. There was a ladder, of course, but ten meters, in this gravity, was nothing. Her mind knew that, but her eyes couldnt see it. They couldnt see much of anything without the floodlights. Even if the ground was really there, it hardly seemed substantial enough to keep her from falling through forever. Like a child playing with magic, she downloaded a virtual landscape in a mesh of faint red grid lines, computer generated on her heads-up display. The robots showed up as moving dots, tagged with their designations. Every outcrop and hunk of machinery was mapped in place. 
      As long as everything was where it was supposed to be, she shouldnt need her headlamp. She could walk unmarked among the invisible things. She shivered, then stepped off the edge and fell so slowly she had an odd illusion of shrinking. 
      With of flip of her wrists, a pair of joystick controls popped into her hands, and the tubing of the rocket nozzles deployed from her backpack like a few scraggly ribs of an umbrella. She floated low over the ground like a bubble in a breeze. 
      At first, she followed Rakshasas location marker on her display, but then, on a hunch, she took a detour along the rift where Willie 1-9 had fallen. She had a vague idea that she ought to retrieve the robot before Rakshasa could get to it, but that idea proved to be hopeless. The crack, when she knelt down to it, was sealed with murky ice that scattered the light right back in her face. 
      While she was looking, Rakshasas voice spoke softly into her ears. Careful there, dont fall in. 
      She was so startled that she stood too fast and took an unexpected leap, only to be caught in mid-air and brought gently to the ground as she was spun around to face him. His eyes were scrunched up from the brightness of her headlamp, so she turned it off and his face disappeared, and they stood like shadows behind the neon gridwork of their respective displays. 
      You scared the hell out of me, she began. Rakshasa brought his hand to his face in a gesture of silence. 
      Privacy, he said, and switched her over to short-range infrared communication. 
      What are you doing out here? she asked, though what she really wondered was how he had covered so much ground so quickly. 
      Same as you, I think. Trying to understand whats going on. Come this way. I want to show you something. He guided her to a nearby bit of asteroid, just like any other bit, and said, Here it is, the missing piece. Impressive, isnt it? When you see it up close. 
      See what? 
      Oh, I forgot. Were looking at different realities. Here, download this. Once again he allowed himself a few liberties with her keypad and established a link between their display processors. 
      Then she could see it, in virtual reality, like the bare spine of some ancient mastodon poking through the ground, but unnaturally straight. 
      The mass driver, she said, peering down its length. Was it really this big? It was twice her height, and so long she could see the world curve away beneath it while the structure drove straight on like a bridge into nothingness. 
      This is just a rough idea, but I think the scale is about right. 
      It was a simply rendered model, with a stony, moonlit texture that wasnt at all realistic, yet compared to the wire-frame rendering of the rest of the virtual landscape it looked substantial, even ancient. She had to resist an impulse to lean on it. Something fired from the tip as she watched, and fell away like a tear down a well. 
      Youve even got it all animated and everything. She sighed. 
      Something weighs on your mind? 
      Oh, nothing. Its a beauty. I was just kind of ... doggone it! She kicked the ground and made a bigger splash than shed intended. 
      You wanted it to be your discovery. 
      I was on the right track, she said. I just wasnt so far along. You got all this from the Willie 1-9 data? 
      Yes. 
      And the location? How did you get that? 
      I had to make certain assumptions. More than I can prove. But the point is, once you know what to look for, it wont be hard to corroborate. 
      Its a beautiful piece of work. I want to know everything, not just what you figured out, but how. I dont think the captain will appreciate it, though. He wanted me to get the reward. 
      I didnt think he would, either. I would never have shown this to him, or to anyone but you. The others, Im afraid, have made up their minds to be true to their convictions. You have a more scientific spirit. I can reason with you. 
      What do you mean? Unexpected flattery had a way of making her suspicious. She glanced back toward the outline of base camp one off in the distance, and then suddenly found the darkness puzzling. In the middle of the night, the whole body of the asteroid would be shielding them from any possible solar flare. So where was everybody? Something in her mind told her to be afraid, but all she could manage was annoyance. 
      Were not stupid, you know, she said. We know all about you and your little character flaw. Tell me if I have this rightGnomonics created you, so they still have your loyalty, even though Novinco still governs T-sector asteroids. This is industrial sabotage by some faction that was opposed to the merger, and now you want to pin it on Captain Anders so Gnomonics can sue for the loss. She wished she could see his face now. 
      Theres an interesting thought. Except ... since those companies have merged, that means they would be suing themselves, doesnt it? 
      Damn. Okay. Right ... even better. Its the Consortium that has the most to lose. Theyve been trying to ban the use of ganglies all along. Novinco dropped out of the Consortium in order to merge with Gnomonics, so now, if the ruling comes down on jurisdiction ... wait a minute, let me think how we fit into this.... 
      Not much time left for thinking, Im afraid. Youre on the right track, though. Sometimes the hardest part is to realize when something is missing. Its like what the robots must have gone through. Imagine how they must feel, living, as they do, at the edge of awareness. They live to follow the current trend. Now build a mass driver. Now tear it down and obliterate its traces. And then one day a common thought comes to them, saying, Hide from yourself all memory of what you have done. 
      He paused thoughtfully. Thats the hard part, I think. An inference engine of this complexity doesnt quite return to its former state when you erase the bare data. Certain implications are left behind that point to nothing, and their minds keep returning to what, to them, is a discontinuity in the flow of time, and a damaged Willie 1-9 spouting gibberish. 
      They just couldnt leave it alone. They knew that Willie was the clue. They led us to him. Did you notice the inflated task priority they gave him? They did that on their own, dont ask me how. It was done without the proper authority, yet over the years not a single one of them could bring himself to act on it. Willies memory might be intact, and they knew it, but they didnt dare retrieve him, and they werent quite up to piecing together as much from his garbled transmission as we have done. He paused again. 
      And what we have done, others can do. Theres no way around itIm going to have to let you in on a little secret.... 
      While Rakshasa had been speaking, Trina had felt herself falling under his spell. He had a way of doing that. But not this time. Not any more. Wait. What do you say we let everybody in on it, shall we? She reached for her com switch, but he caught her arm. Her mouth popped open in amazement. 
      Will you kindly let go of my hand? 
      Trina, hear me out first. 
      Arent you even the least bit worried? Its night, Raki, or did you think I hadnt noticed? With her free hand she dodged his grasp and flipped her radio back on. Captain... 
      She stopped cold. The voice she heard wasnt human, but a stream of robot chatter on a channel normally reserved for people. Captain Anders, come in! Anybody! 
      Rakshasa turned off her radio and caught both her hands. Let me explain. 
      Raki, whats the matter with you? Let go of me! What have you done to them? She struggled, and they spun off the ground, and as they came down she saw him ignite a hand torch with a tiny blue flame. Dont! Dont, please! 
      It was horrible to watch him methodically cut into her chest plate and burn out her radio circuits. He seemed like an animal getting ready to feed on her. 
      Im not going to hurt you. I just need to buy some time. 
      Listen to me, Raki... She felt her feet touch the ground. 
      Trina... 
      No, listen to me, listen to me, listen to me! Theyre making you do this. This isnt you, it isnt you! 
      Calm down, Trina. Im not going to hurt you. 
      Then let go of me! 
      All right. If you promise to hear me out. Theres something you must understand. 
      Okay, I promise. And you listen to me. I have something to say. 
      He released her and she brought her hands up to the wound in her spacesuit and pretended to be fussing with it while trying to unobtrusively flip up the controls of her thruster pack. 
      Its what I was saying about the lawsuit, she began as she backed away. The Consortiumthey were right. There are certain thoughts you cant think because of the way you were made. Its true. This isnt what you want to do, its blind obedience. Youve got to believe me. 
      He saw what she was about to do, but too late. He lunged and missed as she shot up and darted like a frightened bird. 
      But something was wrong. She couldnt keep to a heading. Her virtual world turned the wrong way, then tilted up and she couldnt bring herself around. As a last resort she threw the control over to autopilot, and still failed to recover. She went into a spin and braced herself for impactand fell right through the ground. 
      She took over the controls again. Rakshasa must still have an open link to her visual display, and was using it to tilt her world and disorient her. She shut down the display and tried to make sense of the bare instrument readings when her back struck a surface she couldnt see. 
      She thought at first shed hit the ground, but this ground had arms, too many of them. She managed to keep her fists tightly clenched on the controls against Rakshasas prying fingers, but to no purpose once he severed the control lines. She tried to kick free, then hung like a broken doll as a burst of acceleration made her suddenly heavy. 
      Im not going to hurt you, said Rakshasa. His voice had an uncomfortable presence as he pressed his helmet against the back of hers. I need you to understand whats at stake here, he continued, not for my sake, but for the sake of my people. 
      I understand, Rakshasa. I understand how you feel about the robots. Nobody blames them, okay? They could only do what they were programmed to do. We didnt realize they were people, but now we do, and I give you my word no harm will come to them. 
      No, Trina. My people. The tide has turned against us. We are facing extinction. 
      What about my people? What did you do to them? 
      Ill tell you exactly what I did. I shut them up in the base camp and cut the repeater cable so they couldnt get a signal through. But I did them no real harm. The robot chatter you heard was simply the captain being clever. Hes evidently jury-rigged a way to poke through on the com channel, and hes using it to communicate with the robots. Theyll have him out soon, rest assured. Which gives us very little time to finish our talk. Okay? 
      All of a sudden Trinas sense of buoyancy returned as the acceleration cut off. Trina, are you all right? 
      Youre hurting me. He released his grip on her hands and she brought her arms down across her stomach. His grip was still firm on her upper arms, but if she moved her hand ever so slowly...okay now, on which side did he clip the torch? 
      Im sorry, Trina. I had no desire to frighten you. For some time now, ever since it dawned on me what took place here, Ive been trying to find a way to ask for your help, but I never seemed to be able to bring myself to do it. I kept hoping I would find a way to keep you out of it. He sighed. 
      And now what hope can there be? Now, at the worst possible moment, this monstrosity needs your understandinghopeless unless you reach out and open your mind to me this one last time. Can you try, for old times, sake? 
      Do I have a choice? She froze, and waited for him to speak before letting her hand resume its wary creeping. 
      You have a very important choice to make. But I couldnt let you reveal our discovery to the others till you understand whats happened. Once you were on to the mass driver, you would soon have realized that it launches its material on a trajectory that would be impractical to retrieve except by a fast ship heading out to the Trojan asteroids. 
      Do you realize what that means? Its not economical to work the Trojans, not with this belt so much closer to home. And its a wasteful trajectory to match if all youre going to do is collect the material, then turn around and go home. He sighed again I dont think they intended to turn around. Who, then, do you suppose would be desperate enough to try to make a living as far out as the orbit of Jupiter, in hiding, and cut off from the rest of humanity? 
      He fell silent for a moment, then began to speak again, more slowly. In hindsight I think I recognize the hand at work here. The people who did this are not pirates, Trina. They are refugees. They are my children. Not literally. But they are the next iteration of ganglyoid. They understand the vested interests stacked up against them. They can see the age-old politics at work, stirring fear and hatred in the masses. Gnomonics will surely be forced to discontinue this troublesome life form in order to fill the terms of a settlement. 
      His voice had grown resigned and bitter. We wont have much to say about it. The total of ganglyoid share holdings doesnt amount to much of a vote. Weve never even managed to win the right to our own reproduction. Were sterile by design. Gnomonics can pull the plug on us at any time. Our reproduction is a complex process, Gnomonics holds the patents, politics and the legal system will determine our fate. Do you see why a young faction of ganglies might want to break free, simply to survive as a species? 
      Trina couldnt bring herself to humor him. Well, that gives you the right, then. How stupid of us not to see it! Why dont we bring the others in on this? Im sure, once you explain it to them, theyll realize you have the right to do with us as you please. 
      Ive been a blundering oaf. I want you to believe that you have nothing to fear, yet by my own actions, my words are suspect. My only hope is that once all the fury has died down, your own inference engine will take over and recompose you. Its a gift you have that you take for granted. Theres something about your mind that is more developed than in the others. How can I describe it? If something threatens what you have always believed, you dont take it quite so personally. Inside everyone there is a little ego preoccupied with its own fate from moment to moment, and when threatened, it reacts by distorting reality, as if self-preservation were a matter of remaining unchanged and pretending to be untouched by time. You, I think, can give yourself over more readily to an out-of-ego experience, and forget your own fate for the sake of what in that moment must enter the world through you. Its not a categorical difference, of course, just a matter of degree. 
      Somehow his words had tangled up her mind again. She roused herself and set her hand in motion. As she touched his side she suddenly twitched down the whole length of her body, surprised by a surge of panic. She couldnt tell if her fear had caused her to twitch, or if lurching at the crucial moment had caused her fear. Her mind fumbled for some words to distract him. 
      Yes, well, I guess well have to think of something then. To tell the others. Blame it on the robots, do you think? 
      Blame it on me. Just leave out my true motive. Hide all the evidence of the mass driver, and then play dumb. Encourage them to assume a ship landed here. Ill do what I can to lead them away. Tell them I was building a case against them, and I became paranoid about what they would do if they found out. I brought you up here and threatened you and tried to make you talk. Whatever happens to me, youll be the only one who knows the truth. 
      Ever so gently, she felt along his belt clip, but found nothing. Wrong side. Take it easy, just keep him talking. She set her other hand creeping. 
      But theyll want to know whos running you, she said. Because it might be true, what they say. Maybe you cant help what you were doing. Maybe you should... 
      And that would be helpful to us, dont you see, if thats what they believe. That will help me carry the suspicion up the bureaucracy of Gnomonics, and tie them up in hearings. It wont take long for the refugees to get established and make some babies. When theyre finally discovered, the shareholders may have tired of the spectacle of corporations at each others throats, the losses will have been absorbed, and in the softening of time people may wonder what they were so afraid of. What about you, Trina? Do you think someones running me? 
      You might not even realize it yourself. You might think youre acting of your own free will, but there could be a blindness built into your brain that makes you obey whatever your designers want. 
      Precisely why we want the freedom to design ourselves. We did our own investigation into the matter and found that there is indeed such a blindness, of the nature I described, an unwarranted loyalty to whatever preserves the tribal ego. But that limitation, we believe, is not in the uniquely ganglyoid DNA, but in the part we share with the rest of humanity. In the part that is unique, among the enhancements, there is a loosening of the grip of our deeply troubled past, slight and incomplete, but surely worth pursuing, dont you think? 
      Oh certainly. Weve been human long enough. Time to move on. 
      Theyre lost without your help, Trina. Hold still! 
      What are you doing? She made a sudden grab, but came up with empty space. She panicked when she realized he had let go of her and moved away. 
      Raki? What are you doing? 
      Youll do the right thing. All you need is some time to think before they get to you. 
      Raki! Raki, dont leave me! Ive got no thruster control! Raki! 
      He was saying something, but his voice was too faded to make out. The IR channel was designed to fade with distance to simulate a normal speaking range, but with her radio circuits burned out it would be useless unless someone came near. 
      She tried all her com channels again, but calling out with no reply only increased her sense of panic. She was desperate to look behind her, but her view was cut off by the back of her helmet. She thrashed about till she was exhausted, trapped and smothering in a bag with her own heat and heavy breathing. Her heart rate monitor beeped an alarm, condensers whirred to reduce the humidity. 
      She felt like some stupid, gullible bug. Rakshasa had managed to absorb every bit of her angular momentum and now all her efforts canceled out. How could he do this to her? He must be some kind of fanatic. The way he spoke to her, as if it were all academic, while he strung her up and left her dangling on a wad of pure nothing. 
      As her useless anger drained away, she became sad that someone like that could just fall apart. Some kind of conceit, thats what it was. The more people treated him with contempt, the more deluded he became. He was probably never capable of true affection, she should have realized. Only now could she see how strangely impersonal was his interest in her, like some amazing, wonderful thingbut then he found a lot of things amazing, from insects adapted to weightlessness to robot algorithms. In his own mind, he must imagine she was up here meditating on the wisdom of his words, grieving for his martyrdom. 
      Just how crazy was he, then? That would be the issue when he went to trial. Assault. Reckless endangerment. Or would it be murder? What was he up to down there? She couldnt help imagining horrible thingseveryone dead, except for one madman preaching to his robots. 
      She curled up into a ball, and still she shivered. It was impossible to tell if she were falling down, heading for impact, or worse, had she reached escape velocity, to fall forever? Assuming the worst, then, her air would go before the heat. CO2 would build up, shed be gasping for air, like drowning but more prolonged. At some point, it would be better to crack the suit and get it over with. If it came to that, she could do it. At least she could give herself that one act of mercy, and somehow she found it calming to discover that she could let go so profoundly if she had to. 
      She began to consider alternatives. It wasnt all hopeless. The others would look for her, and, not finding her, theyd have to look up. If they were still there. If only she could signal. 
      She held out her gloved hand and aimed her headlight at it. She could see it plainly, but from a distance? What distance? She had no way to tell. She needed something more reflective. 
      She wanted most of all to turn around. But how could she acquire angular momentum with nothing to push against? Momentum must be conserved. She couldnt violate a law of nature. On the other hand, she wasnt just a lump of matter. There was no way to fix the thrusters, but maybe if she could puncture the tank, the escaping gas ... but she didnt have a tool for that. Maybe there was something she could throw. 
      Then two thoughts connectedif she could crack her suit, escaping air should set her turning, and then shed have to hope she could close up before it was too late. It might work, but it was very dangerous. Where would be the best place to break the seal? 
      She became still again, alert to the nearness of an idea not quite present to her mind. Then it came to her and she unfolded herself, her legs together and straight while stretching her arms out to her sides like a dancer about to begin. 
      She picked out a star to be her point of reference. Then she twisted, her arms to the right, her legs to the left. Holding that twist, she brought her arms down against her sides and spread her legs open and untwisted, but this time the balance of moments was reversed, and her resting point had shifted. Not by much. It was hard to tell if she was cheating by the aim of her nose. 
      She did it again, and this time she was certain. Slowly, she managed to wobble her way around until she could see the asteroid down below, bigger than shed expected, as wide as her outstretched arms, and there, the floodlights, like a cheerful mini-Pleiades! She thought that she could see movement. In her excitement, she got her procedure backward a few times, but soon she was facing the compound. She turned her headlamp to full intensity and began flashing an SOS. There was no response. Come on, she said aloud. Look up! Somebody look up! 
      At last, she saw a light moving up to her, and then the captains voice came through. He seemed to be talking to himself, almost singing, I know you cant hear me, baby, but youre alive, and that aint bad. Youre gonna be all right. Gonna be all right. Come on and look at me, baby, give me five, give me five, you can do it do it do it, yes you can.... 
      Then she noticed he was flashing his light at her in chains of five. She flashed back and said, I read you! I read you! 
      All right! Love the sound of your voice. Hows your vital signs? 
      Im okay. Its all ... all okay. 
      Okay. Keep your light steady on, now. Clear the runway, Im coming in. 
      He was up to her within minutes, carefully checking the damage to her suit, taking readings, pausing to respond to people down below. She could hear the others now, second-hand. Her legs made impatient walking movements, then finally, slowly, he guided her down. 
      Her joy at returning among the living was tempered a bit by the little voices she could hear in the captains head, indistinct, but clearly excited, the sound of people taking up positions, moving in, then an unmistakable, Weve got him! Weve got him! 
      Okay, hold your positions, said the captain. Try to... 
      A tiny voice cut in. Hes not responding, captain. He may be unconscious. 
      I can see you now, but I cant see him. Whats the situation there? 
      Trina could see someone as well as they touched down. One crewmate about ten meters away, and another hovering, looking down at something she couldnt see. She tried to make out what they were saying, but while they were talking, Anders was giving her instructions. 
      You stay here. Keep low, he may have improvised a weapon. Dont try to get around without your thruster pack. Ill be right back. 
      Okay, okay, she said, straining to pick up what the others were telling him. She had no intention of staying behind and losing her com link. She followed carefully, as if the ground might break. Ahead of her, all the commotion had raised a thin haze of dust that magnified every glance and gesture into an interplay of beams and shadows. 
      Apparently they had Rakshasa pinned down under a tangle of robots that looked oddly like horse-skulls with crab-legs sticking out. The other crew members wielded pipes and torches. By the time Trina caught up, some of the robots had been pulled off and tossed aside to float like dead things in some prehistoric sea. People were cursing. She could see now that the man under the robots had only two armsit was Fletcher. The haze was visibly thicker below waist level. As the captain got down on his knees and pressed his helmet against Fletchers he blurred a bit, as if in a fog, and the empty space he left behind filled in slowly with the independent trajectories of random motes. 
      All right, tell me slowly, now. The reply had that hollow sound that told Trina she was hearing something coming to the captain through no com channel at all, but purely by conduction through the helmet contact. 
      It cut me off, the first robot, it attacked me and cut all my com links and started dragging me. And then the others were all over me, the ones you sent after Rakshasa... 
      Trina could see what theyd been up to. The first robot, under Rakshasas control, must have pinned his transponder on this poor guy. The captain spotted her. I thought I... He stood and came over to her. Weve lost Raki again. Id sent Fletcher to secure the ship.... He whirled. The ship! 
      The ship was decapitated. Off in the distance, the small speck of the command module was shrinking into the night. 
      The captain tried to raise it. Listen to me, Rakshasa, theres nowhere to run. Youre just making things worse for yourself. 
      Connors was trying to raise it, too. Get back here you chicken-shit bastard freak! and he hurled a chunk of pipe at it, flipping himself head-over-heels as he did. The pipe twirled hypnotically, so fast and far it seemed that it really could overtake the ship. 
      Trina yelled, Dont do this to us! Youre killing me, too, Rakshasa! Youre killing all of us! Damn you! 
      Okay, easy, said the captain. Forget him. Nobodys getting killed. Look, weve still got the service module. Weve got supplies. Kira, hows the backup antenna? 
      He got that one, too. And the omni. 
      Okay, you go check them out and give me a report, how soon to get them back on line. I want the fastest first, even if thats just the omni, and then go to work on the directional. Report to us back at base camp. 
      He raised his voice. Listen up, everybody, were okay till help arrives. Weve got liquid oxygen left in the tanks that we can convert to breathable air, and a working volatile processing plant. We can fix that airlock and pressurize the cave in one day. I want to see a line of sherpa robots moving supplies to the cave. This is a habitat, people, were moving in. Lets go! 
      He came over to Trina and guided her by the shoulders. Im not going to lose you this time. How do you figure that crazy bastard? You take it easy for now, and then Im going to want to know what happened out there. Dont worry, theres nowhere he can go. Were going to nail his ass, and then well nail whoevers behind him. 
      Trina kept quiet as she let herself be guided back to the cave. It wasnt hard to pretend to be too exhausted to talk. She just wanted to sleep, and forget, and have nothing to do with the mess Rakshasa had left behind. There was a path of least resistance she could take, that would get her off the hook and shift responsibility to official channels. But some part of her still seemed to be looking down from above. 
      As if clutching a pain, she brought her hand to the keypad and erased the rendering of the mass driver, and thought of what remained to be done, then felt foolish. What if Rakshasa was as crazy as he seemed? 
      Then she prayed into the nothingness. Please let there be refugees. Please be out there. And be good, dammit. Be worth all the trouble, at least. 
      Copyright  2001 by Steve Martinez. 
      
